Even though you turned out to be an asshole, you were the only person to act like you really gave a fuck about me. You knew me inside and out & you loved all of me. Or at least I thought you did.. And maybe that’s why it’s so hard to completely get over you. It all turned out to be a lie, but that just makes it harder to let go. I just need that guy back that sent me good morning beautiful texts. I miss the guy who wouldn’t let me get away with saying “I’m fine,” because he knew me enough to know I’m not. The guy who could put a smile on my face by just answering the phone. The guy who would stay on the phone with me all night, even after we fell asleep. That guy who would wake up early just to hear the sound of my voice while I was getting ready for school. The guy that I trusted with everything and anything. The only guy I ever completely let in. The guy who would manage to have at least one “no, you’re cuter” or “I love you more” fight a day. The guy who wanted to spend as much time with me as he possibly could. The guy who would always remind me how much he cared about me after every fight we had. The guy who would tell me he’s not worth my tears when he would make me cry. The guy who drove me crazy, but i wouldn’t want it any other way. The guy who had me convinced I’d spend forever with him. The guy who meant the world to me until one day he just left.
I feel like I’m still trapped in this nightmare. The chains of my past are still wrapped around me and I feel so suffocated with the many burdens I have placed on myself. I may be strong to endure what I went through, but I am not strong enough to overcome it.